Overcoming Anxiety with Exposure Therapy
Hello Dear Friends,
You know, anxiety often arises from the gap between perceived threats or demands in a given situation, and our perceived ability to handle them. So when anxiety strikes, it's crucial to discern its root cause: is it the external demands and expectations of your environment, or is it the beliefs you hold about your abilities? In truth, both factors can contribute to anxiety:
Consider whether the demands of your circumstances are genuinely causing stress. If, for example, you have an 80+ hours work week in a job that requires an unsustainable amount of effort, it's reasonable to experience stress. But if more attainable goals are causing anxiety, it's essential to examine your self-perception and beliefs about your capabilities.
Indeed, anxiety often stems from the belief that you are not enough. If you fear rejection, judgment, or inadequacy, these beliefs can lead to avoidance behaviors. For example, you may withdraw from social interactions, hesitate to share ideas at work, or shy away from new opportunities and relationships. This anxiety and avoidance pattern further diminishes self-esteem
But if you’re looking for the means to overcome your anxiety, then let me introduce you to Exposure Therapy. This method involves gradually and voluntarily exposing yourself to your fears or triggers. Here's a simple plan to apply this technique:
Identify Your Fears: Name the specific fears that hold you back: such as judgment, failure, conflict, etc. and the associated goals that you feel are unattainable
Deconstruct Your Goals: Break down your larger goals into smaller, more manageable micro-objectives.
Gradual Exposure: Begin by placing yourself in situations that make you slightly uncomfortable but not overwhelmed. For instance, if you fear talking to strangers, start in a familiar setting with friends and one unfamiliar person. Gradually progress to interacting with strangers independently. If your goal is to learn to stand up for yourself, do it first with thee ones you feel more comfortable (saying no to a friend who’s insisting on going out), and work your way up to more complicated situations (negotiating for better deadlines with your boss)
Practice and Repeat: Continue to practice until you gain confidence and competence in handling the more difficult situations that once caused your anxiety
By systematically confronting your fears, you’ll boost your self-esteem and reduce anxiety. Remember that courage is not the absence of fear but the triumph over it. Finally, remember that for the most part, there are no inherently stressful situations—only thoughts that make them stressful; there’s always a difference between your circumstances (which are neutral in nature), and how you feel about your circumstances. So embrace challenges as opportunities for growth and learning, and remember that your self-worth is not solely tied to your achievements.
And as I wish you courage and self-discovery, I’ll invite you to learn more about techniques such as this one in my course collection.
